Do I?

Do I actually care about any of this? Probably not. That’s just my character I guess, I care way too much about stuff that nobody cares about, but I don’t care about what’s around me. I mean c’mon who’re we kidding. I’m a teenager living in a patriarchal society that forces me to accept misogyny and care about others, instead of myself. So obviously I’d do the opposite. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ignorant of what’s around me, I simply don’t bother with it. Unless it needs to be handled of course.

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

-Doctor Who

^That’s the stuff I care about.
Things that define who I am, my beliefs, my values, my principles whereby I stand.(Or TV shows I’m overly enthusiastic about…) I’m not going to care if you’re being sensitive and cry over everything, because I’m not going to waste my time with you. In all honesty, I would risk me ruining my friendship with you.

Sure we had great memories, but that’s all they’ll ever be. Will it be a learning experience? Maybe… Maybe not. Who knows? But if you’re going to frustrate and anger me loads of times? I’ll keep my distance, or you’ll keep yours. So it begs the question, do I really want to put in effort for you?

This isn’t just a rant, I’m asking questions to people(or myself since no one reads this)- Is all this really worth it? Do you Should you really bother about what’s on your mind right now? Unless it means a great deal to you, I’m advising you to just drop it. Just move on, leave it all behind, because at the end of the day, you’ll barely remember this, and in 20 years time you’ll be thinking “Hmm, why did I waste so much time and effort?” You should use the time and effort, to build yourself up, to find out what will stay with you for the rest of your life. And for me that’s just finding myself and what I stand for.

So, do I really want to stay the way I am now?

If you’ve made it through, I congratulate you.
(It’s probably just me reading my own posts all over again)


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